Uncontrollable
by Nicole Lo
Summary: Leah cannot allow herself to still love Jacob after all of this time. And it was easy to deny it before ... until he followed her to New Orleans. Now, she will do anything to get rid of him even in the midst of a war for a Werewolf Union while in Original territory...
1. Until I Forget You

**Uncontrollable**

**Chapter One: Until I Forget You**

It's easy to lust after someone, but it's nearly impossible to love. Because to love means to accept that the other person will never be perfect, that they will always be flawed but you can't imagine not having those flaws with you everyday.

I guess I was lucky to have loved someone twice in one lifetime, even though neither of them had loved me back. I'd taken it as some sort of punishment for me being a she-wolf or even just punishment for me being a woman.

After all, between Adam and Eve, we know who got the raw end of the deal.

I let out a heavy sigh. This was getting to me again. Uniting the werewolves cross the country through Canada had been Jacob's idea and as I had pledged myself to him, I was under his command.

He had taken the west, Seth the mid-west, Quil and Embry shared the northeast, and I had dominion over the south east. The current issue was a place known as New Orleans, the home of the original vampires, and the place that was gaining the most notoriety for uproar and chaos.

Of course, I had the most unruly ones of all, now in the midst of another vampire attack. Marcel had failed me once again. I rolled my eyes. If I had just slept with him, or even that hybrid Klaus, things would be different. I would have the intel, an alliance even.

I couldn't imagine enjoying taking a vampire to bed with me. Or even worse, I would lose my intrigue and they would actually launch an attack on me themselves.

From Marcel, we had found that our bred of werewolves, the Quilete, was unique. Whereas the others needed daylight rings to control the curse, we'd been given control over when to turn at all times. In fact, it was almost as if we had no relation to that Klaus person.

He had explained a lot to me while trying to woo me over to his side, but I was not so easily had. I had simple rules of survival. One was that I never pursued anything with anyone who chased after me first.

It made things confusing and there was always the possibility of developing feelings, that which I had no more room for in my heart. Two, it gave me the power to start and end things as I pleased because really, how many times can a girl be rejected before it's too much? Three, I could never be hurt. I had stopped giving men the power to hurt me, or anyone for that matter.

I would have to find someone again tonight since these thoughts were creeping up again, this need to have something unconditional and permanent was taking over again.

"Watch out!" One of my allies yelled as I snapped back into reality. I transformed into wolf form and took out a couple of vampires without even flinching. I heard cries and turned to help and that's when he took his shot. A huge arrow was headed my way. I braced myself since there was not enough time to move.

I waited but there was nothing.

Black.

_What the hell are you doing here? This is my turf._

_And you're failing miserably,' He complained back. _

_Why did you get in the way? I have it under control. _

Jacob rushed off to kill off the last few that dared to challenge us before changing into human form.

It had been … 3 years and 2 months since we'd seen each other, but if anyone asked I would just say 'a while.' I'd never fully told him that I'd caught feelings for him, but now that he was back I had to be careful that he did not find out.

Silently I watched his perfectly chiseled, naked body in awe. It had gotten better over the years. His broad shoulders, line down the middle of his back, round calves. Damn, he looked delicious. I followed his lead, pushing back any remnants of shame, as this was how I was going to entrap my lastest man.

I knew that it would be a long night as I'd have to exhaust my body to the point where my mind wouldn't remember this moment, the fact that we were walking side by hand almost holding hands. I'd never known the warmth of his body or even given him so much as a hug yet I still loved him deeply.

Shit. I had to focus. Focus on what this victory meant.

It mean that we were in control and this was how it was meant to be. Leaders had no room to even contemplate love. I knew that.

"Find out if there are any survivors. Gather them up for information." Jacob gave a simple command as I scanned through the crowd until I found the one that I wanted. He looked a little … Greek and I wanted someone who looked like he would make love to me and not just conk out after a minute. I gave him a quick nod and he knew that he was expected at my bed tonight.

"Are you going to keep following me around or are you going to put on some clothes?" Jacob turned to me as I forced myself not to turn away. It was … strange not knowing what he was thinking or even knowing if he liked what he saw. I wondered if he would lick the sweat from my body, kiss my stomach … Focus. "How old are you now?" He wondered, breaking the ice and trying to call me old.

"You little shit." I tried to trip him up, which only ended up with us engaging in a mini-battle for our pride. We'd gathered a little crowd and I tried to stay focus on anticipating his every move. It ended with my foot to his neck and I knew that he'd let me win.

"Bastard." I mumbled as our people brought robes to wrap around us. "You didn't even try."

"You started to sweat." He shrugged, sitting down with a sigh. "Do you realize that you just spread your legs with everyone watching?"

"Asshole." I pushed him roughly and it was then that I noticed it. How could I not see it before?

"You've been scratched." I touched just outside of the wound, this being the closest I'd been to him ever.

"I'll live." Jacob pushed me off. "Just stop having these encounters with the vampires. This is the second time."

"Why are you so stubborn?" I argued back. "Stupid. You could die over this."

"And it would be your fault. I stepped in and tried to protect you and look what happened." I ignored him, gathering our medical crew, which consisted of a few witches that supported us. "Take care of him." I couldn't leave his side, knowing that this was pretty serious even if he played it off well.

I waited until they assured me that everything would heal properly. By now, the guy that I'd picked out surely would have left. "Take him to my room." I commanded as Jacob kept pestering me the entire walk over.

They laid him down as I followed, surprised by what I saw next. He'd been waiting. Shit. I had to hide him from Jacob.

"Don't cancel your plans because of me." He smirked. Too late. Jacob had already seen...

"You are so immature, you know that?" I griped.

"It's a big suite. I'll stay on this side in this room and you go do your thing in the bedroom." Jacob smiled. "I wonder what Sam would say if-"

"Shut up. Sam's in Canada and for good reasons." I argued back. "I'm not going to justify what I do outside of taking your commands."

"I'm not judging you. "

"And I don't care if you are!"

"So is he getting it from the back or-"

"Ahh!" I screamed back slamming the door. I could hear his little smug ass chuckling and wished that the vampire had killed him.

I worked to regain my composure, so pissed off right then that I threw the guy against the wall. "What's your name?" I asked, knowing that I would take it all out on him.

"Sam."

"What?" I rolled my eyes. Really? "I'm going to ask you that question again and this time, you better give me the right answer…. now what's your _name_?"

"u-uh … M-Max." He stuttered as I raised my eyes to glare at him.

"Okay, Max. I'm going to tell you how this works. And you're going to want to listen because I'm going to punish you if you screw this up." I explained with an even tone. Max did exactly what I told him, as I told him to do it.

But he wasn't too impressive at it. In fact, I was starting to get bored and all I could think about was Jacob and his massively hard body. I'd never even kissed him but all of these feelings for him were starting to resurface.

I pressed myself harder onto Max, but still felt nothing. I decided to lay back and let him do the work. This would go all night until he did it properly.

(A/N: Leah and Jacob again … how I do love them together. No main plot yet, but it will come as I write. -NL)


	2. All We Want

**Chapter Two: All We Want**

(A/N: This chapter gets a little risqué. You've been warned. -NL)

* * *

><p>"Alright, when are you leaving?" I inquired a few days later when Jacob started to look better. I made sure that no one was stupid enough to tell him that I'd waited outside of his door after every treatment, demanding updates. Or even that I'd been praying for him … tears and all.<p>

I was willing to rip off anyone's head if they exposed that information.

"Why are you in such a rush?" Jacob smirked again. Could it be because in the last three nights, I'd gone through three different men, each inept at curing my thoughts about Jacob? Out of sight, out of mind. He had to go.

"I don't like being micromanaged."

"I can tell you like being in control but … that last guy was a little weak, don't you think?"

"How much did you hear?" I sighed, sitting down on the bed next to him.

"Are you like … an addict?"

"What?" I turned to face him.

"Three guys in three nights is a little extreme, don't you think?"

"I'm curious as to how you know it wasn't the same guy." I challenged.

"Because I'm certain you scared the first two off." Jacob responded back.

"You are insanely frustrating."

"So will you answer the question?"

"I don't have to." I got up defiantly "I rule the southeast, remember?"

"Don't make me do it. I'm your Alpha-"

"I don't have a sex addiction." I explained with a sigh. "I do it to block out thoughts … of Sam." I lied. "I can't think about him if my body is exhausted and all I want to do it sleep."

"Doesn't he visit your dreams then?"

"Sometimes." I looked at him, biting my lip. I hated being vulnerable and weak. I made myself an icebox for a reason. "Anything else you want to know, Alpha?"

"Do you ever like it?" He asked, looking at me seriously again. I hated this. I needed him to stop because it almost seemed like he … cared.

"Never." I admitted out loud. "Sex is just a means to an end but it's a temporary fix. I always wake up the next day remembering what I tried to forget. But you being here … makes me think about it more. What I'm trying to get away from... so I'll ask again, when are you leaving?"

"Not for a while." A familiar voice interrupted. Marcel.

"How the hell did you get in here?"

"I need to speak with the Alpha."

"Hey beautiful."

I eyed Marcel closely, unable to deny that he was breathingly handsome. Guys like him were the reason why white girls, Asian girls, and even little Quiletes like me were willing to line up with their panties off to have him.

But I was governed by more than just self-restraint. It was more like … I can't go there. I can't go into analyzing what I really feel about Jacob because it will make things complicated and awkward and as I've said before, love is my enemy.

I'm the one that it runs from. Jacob would never love me back.

I focused myself back to what Marcel was saying.

"What do you know about the people who attacked us? Was it Klaus?" I demanded, overstepping my boundaries, still not used to Jacob being the one in charge.

"You really expect me to give up all of the cards, don't you?" Marcel said in his cool, even voice. As I watched his large lips move in slow motion, thoughts and ideas started running through my head. I needed to figure out how to reel him back in. He was pissed. I could tell.

I pressed my lips together, all kinds of salacious thoughts filling my head. He'd had centuries of experience. He more than any of the men I was around would know how to curb a girl's sexual appetite. And I let it all be written all over my face for him to see.

"Well?" I urged, knowing that what we were doing now was borderline flirting.

"Now that your Master has arrived, I want to know what his plans are." Marcel sneered.

"We're not planning an attack on you or the originals, if that's where you're getting to." I challenged, getting closer to him. This was almost sort of … fun.

"Actually, that's not entirely true." Jacob sat up even though he was supposed to be on bed rest for a couple more days. "What happens to you all depends on how well you all behave." If I didn't know any better, I would almost think that there was some sort of hidden beef between them. The girl in me wanted to believe that I was the reason.

"Do you have any idea what sort of war you could cause?" Marcel answered back.

"Then tell us how to exist here peacefully. Tell us who they were so that we can properly punish them and then move on." I stepped in again.

"Leah, do you mind … giving us a moment?" Jacob raised his eyebrows as Marcel smirked. Asshole. I slid out of the room coolly, but I was severely pissed. Later for what Jacob said. I would see what I could get from Marcel, find the other rogue wolves around here and be done with this Werewolf State soon enough.

Because this … I couldn't do.

* * *

><p>The next night, I couldn't stand staying in my suite with Jacob there. The night before was the first time that I hadn't shared my bed with anyone and it was foreign to my body. I tossed and turned all night. I kept replaying old memories of Sam and it was torture. Tonight, I would go outside of the quarter.<p>

Jacob had made some sort of deal with Marcel. I was sure of it and I wanted to know what it was.

I had the bartender make me a small shot. I hated alcohol and knew what could happen if I took even a few sips, but I was here to get so messed up that whoever I took home tonight would take me into another world.

"Leah…" Marcel breathed as I turned my face away from him.

"You're still alive?" I took down the shot just for effect, but it immediately started affecting me. Damn. Blurred vision and a slight sense of elation.

"I bet you're here to get information on what your boy told me?" When I didn't respond, he continued. "Look, I don't know if you get it but there's a war for the Quarter. Vampires, werewolves, humans, and witches all want a piece." The coolness of his breath made me shiver. It was this annoying effect he seemed to have on me.

"It's not like that with us. We just want to take back our people. Give them hope."

"So they can rise up?" Marcel sighed. "Now why would we let you do that?"

"Is the great Marcel afraid of a challenge?"

"Look Leah, you've only been here for a couple of years, so let me get this straight for you. You picked the wrong place to try and set-up shop. There are more enemies here than friends-"

"Which is why I'm asking you to step in. The enemy of my enemy is my friend." I paused. "So who were those guys?" I caught his eye, moving Marcel into the open on the dance floor, our hands touching. He was expecting some sort of attack … I could tell by the way that his body tensed up. He either didn't trust me or he was scared to, meaning that Jacob had undone all of my hard work with a ten minute conversation.

"How do you know they weren't with me?" Marcel asked coolly as I started swaying in front of him sensually. There were so many thoughts in my head that needed to be blocked out now. The fact that Marcel seemed to like it was just an added plus. It only served to egg me on and make me act out even more. We were closer now. I could feel how he wanted me and I couldn't give in without getting something first.

"They died too easily." I turned to face him, arms wrapped around his neck now. "They didn't have any fight and I've seen your guys in action … almost impressive." By the time I'd gotten to the last part, I'd pressed myself too closely to him again.

He smirked. "You've got me." Marcel shrugged. "And maybe if it were just you, we could have a deal but … I don't trust your Alpha."

I rolled my eyes. This I already figured. "So you're afraid that he will kill you." i stared at him deeply. "You're smarter than I thought but … I can control him."

"Like how you're trying to control me?"

"You couldn't handle it if I gave it to you." I grinned widely, both legs now wrapped around him, me loving the fact that I had so much control. But I was weak for flesh, just like everyone else.

"I like a challenge." He whispered back as I turned back to stare at him. No matter how hard I stared, no matter how much I let the orgy-like vibe of this place get to me I still felt nothing for him. I eased my face close to his, our foreheads pressed together, and then grasped the bottom of his lip in mine, giving it a slight tug.

I held it there for a while and then released it quickly letting out a seductive moan, already on my way out before I really did end up in his bed. "Have that info for rme … and don't make me wait." I demanded, walking out of the place feeling unsatisfied.

I had no concept of what time it was. I was totally unguarded and off kilter so much so that I didn't hear Jacob calling me until he was literally a few steps behind me. By now, I was back in my room.

"What the f-" I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"I asked where you were."

"Don't play the Alpha thing. It's late-"

"And you've been drinking … with a vampire." Jacob sneered.

"Yeah. These are the things I've had to resort to to keep this place protected." I kept my voice even, unzipping the skin-tight black pants that looked painted on and forcing them off. I could feel that Jacob was still there and I turned around to face him. "Enjoying the show?"

"So you and Marcel?" He asked. Damn, I knew he could tell whose smell it was. It was dripping all off of me like cheap perfume. I felt so childish in that moment, like I wanted to play with Jacob just to see how he'd react.

I wanted to say yes, I'd slept with him.

Instead, I said, "Are you interested in everyone's sex life or am I the only one with that honor?" He didn't say anything, which made me even more angry. "Do I ask you about Reneesme and how your lifetime fiance is taking it?" Those were fighting words. I knew it. Jacob wouldn't marry Reneesme or she wouldn't marry him … whatever. It was dysfunctional and just another reason why I'd never tell him that I'd be everything that she could never be for him.

He still didn't say a word.

"Bastard!"

"She didn't want me to come here."

"That makes two of us."

"How long have you been sleeping with Marcel?"

"Are we back to this Jake? Really." I rolled my eyes, turning around. "Untie me."

Jacob did as he was told and I tried to make sure that my heart didn't beat too fast. What the hell was he doing out of bed anyway? He was supposed to be resting, not thinking about me and what I did to get by.

The intensity of this moment was so much more than what I'd felt with Marcel moments before with my thighs squeezing his body and bouncing ever so slightly so that I could feel how much he wanted me.

This was so … beyond. He was so close to touching my body, to exposing my bare back. My heart was out of control, it was so loud.

"Thanks." I chirped almost inaudibly. His hands dropped, after what seemed like forever, grazing the bottom part of my lower back. I held the top of the garment, knowing what would happen if I didn't. "You can go now."

"I'm not done with you." Jacob scolded as I turned around slowly letting my hands slip. If this didn't get him to run away, I didn't know what would.

"Done yet?" I asked, cocking my head to the side like a smartass. He looked stunned, but I couldn't figure out why. Had he really just ignored the fact that I was a woman all this time or was it the fact that we were in my bedroom with this happening?

"Has he been inside of you?" Jacob pressed as I shook my head. Not as effective as I was hoping. I couldn't believe how angry he looked.

"You're such a hypocrite." I scoffed. "You can sleep with vampires and hybrids, but the rest of us can't right? I forgot Jacob's Law." I gave him a rough push and he grabbed my arm. It took everything in me not to push him against the wall and kiss him right there.

"Answer me. Especially you Leah. You know what can happen."

"I'm baren." I shot back. "I can sleep with every single man in the city and nothing will happen to me."

A flash of … shock crossed his face before he tightened his grip again.

"I'll ask again … did you fuck him?"

"Not yet." I admitted, looking down as Jacob turned away from me. "But I totally plan on making love with him. Nice and slowly. He'll sing like a canary-"

"Take a shower." He cut me off while turning away. "You smell like a bloodsucker."

In that moment, Jacob couldn't have said anything that would make me feel lower than I didn right there. I was careful to take that shower and do my best not to cry. I had to remember that I couldn't love. No one would love me. This was my fate. I just had to do a better job with getting Jake out of New Orleans.

* * *

><p>(AN: Let me know if anyone is reading with a review. -NL)


End file.
